Sunday, April 12, 2009

Things you'd love to say to the public but can't...


**And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be...?

**Do I sound like a people person?

**This isn't a Comm Center... it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

**I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.

**Sarcasm is just one more customer service benefit we offer.

**You.. off my planet!

**Does your train of thought have a caboose?

**Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

**And what law school did you graduate from, Matlock?

**I'm okay because the voices tell me so.

**Am I getting smart with you? No, I'll keep it on your level.

**And which one of the Seven Dwarfs are you?

**I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

**I'd explain it to you, but I'm afraid your brain would explode.

**I'm sorry you got a speeding ticket. You feel you don't deserve it? What, did the officer interrupt your qualifying lap?

**There are two things on Earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity. You don't look like an atomic weapon, so that leaves us with one alternative...

**Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

**Do they ever shut up on your planet?

**I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

**How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

**Earth is full. Go home.

**Is it time for your medication or mine?

**Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

**Don't start with me!

**You won't win.

**WARNING: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

**When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

**Sorry if I sounded interested... I'm not!

**And your point is?

**You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.

**Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

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